I Know Why You Are Single
on Jul 18 in Blog, Writings by PhillWade“I Know Why You Are Single A.K.A. “THE NEVERENDING PYRAMID OF FAILURE”
This blog is catered to the people out there that think they have it all together when it comes to relationships yet they have one screw that is not quite tight enough (or not there at all). They find themselves on a spiraling staircase that never ends. …They constantly find themselves dating and dating and dating in an effort to find Mr or Mrs RIGHT…and somehow end up alone only to start the whole process over again with an un-perfect match. If this just so happens to be you…you dont have to tell anybody…we’ll just keep this between you and lil ole me (wink!). A significant attribute to many people being alone is that they constantly sew efforts into perusing someone on ‘ANOTHER LEVEL‘ who ALSO is persuing someone else on ‘ANOTHER LEVEL‘
ANOTHER LEVEL – In most cases, this means that people are going after a male or female with superficial motives whether it be based off of beauty, money or status. Also known as “A Good Look” (Dang Phill is that you???…Shes a Good Look) OR a “Trophy”
Here is the perfect scenario where some of the most of the superficial human beings congregate….THE CLUB!!!!!!!
So you get dressed in clothes that you could or couldnt afford…fresh to death…or as beautiful as you wanna be and proceed to go out with your friends. Unless it is that type of environment, your intentions are NOT to go there to have a dance battle!!!…lol…Its to impress the opposite sex, be complimented on your looks and/or find someone that can provide you with some type of “pleasure”. I will develop this setting from a mans perspective (in Houston)…So, I get to the club and I see a young lady looking as beautiful as an “early autumn pomegranate wine”…(NA THAS FINE!!!)…but shes not paying me any attention because shes looking at the hood rich Slim Thug…Slim Thugga is not even half way paying her any attention because his attention is on former Destinys Child member and international songstress Latoya Luckett… Latoya however, is not paying him any attention because she is looking at Football Phenom Reggie Bush, Reggie is not paying Latoya any attention because his sights are set on Kim Kardashian…and we all know how that ended up…(and so on and so forth) This is what we call a PYRAMID…
PYRAMID: as each person looks up a level, the amount of people in each level are fewer fewer lessening your chances of success.
And thats is EXACTLY why I dont like talking to girls in the club. Everybody just seems SO FAKE to me…You have NO IDEA who the person is that youve been wasting your breath on or have been wasting your money on or have been wasting your gas on to take home to have pointless”relations” with…IM TOO GROWN FOR THAT…Im twenty somethin years old and I WANT MORE SUSTENANCE….I mean, shouldnt we all crave that at some point in our lives??? Ok before I get too personal…LET US CONTINUE…Here are some point that I would like to present…
When searching for your next interest, Look over not Up! Your perfect chick/guy could be sitting right next to you in math class, church, or in your neighboring cubicle at work and he/she’s been overlooked BY YOU all this time because they dont look like the video vixen or famous movie guy you saw in the club last night. Ladies, your perfect man is probaly not that rapper you want, but his HYPEMAN or Morehouse grad who is in charge of his public relations instead…(shrug…and im prolly right).
If we can attempt to persue someone that compliments us vs. Constantly searching for the next bigger and better thing, we will find someone that will be genuine, appreciative, etc. towards us...So ladies and gentlemen…Is that list that you have in your head or in your Hello Kitty journal filled with superficial things or with attributes that are priceless??? (You better not be a man with a Hello Kitty NOTHIN!!!)
Looks/status only get your foot in the door. It takes more than that to maintain a healthy relationship. (And you wonder why higher level people are ‘empty’ anyways)….Just why are most of them by themselves and why do they get in relationships that fail instantaneously. Is it because nothing is GENUINE??…Does everything feel fabricated???..possibly…Many celebs have been known to admit that they have everything they want without anything they need…IS THIS WHAT YOU ARE AIMING FOR WHEN YOU STEP OUT THE HOUSE IN YOUR RED BOTTOMS OR LV APPAREL???
Ladies…are you passing up guys who aren’t built muscle heads with tatts or making alot money…even though they could be ‘the one’??…Now I AM NOT telling you to find the dorkiest dude in the room, make him your man and pray that he is your knight in shinning armor…He may just be another fool wrapped in foil paper conducting a Bill Nye the Science Guy experiment …(lol)..I am just telli…no..I am asking you to be more aware of your surroundings….Erykah may have made Tyrone the man he needs to be FOR YOU….think about that…
Fellas…are you passing up girls because they don’t have long real hair or aren’t a size 2 or bright skin???…GROW UP and recognize that you could be passing up love just because it’s not wrapped the way you want it….what resides in that beautiful woman who has decided to “go natural” or the woman who didnt feel like flat ironing her hair because it takes 3 and a half hours could be the woman that can compliment your life in E-VER-Y stride that you take.
If everyone would make an effort to stop climbing this pyramid of potential love and superficiality, satisfaction would be more prevalent than ever!
Ill end with this “You’ll find perfection once you stop looking for it…”
(Shout out to GG & LaDaria)
Let me know what you think. Hit me on here or on Twitter @MrPhillWade
Very insightful and so true. Although I have to admit that is my goal when I go to the club – I’m there to dance, not looking for Mr. Right b/c the only thing there is Mr. Left. Lol. It is amazing what you find when you aren’t looking, when you are doing you.
I LOVE THIS. “LOOK OVER, NOT UP”. YOU ARE EXTREMELY GIFTED AND I LOVE TAKING YOUR ADVICE.
Wow you could not have said it better. This made EXACTLY for me.
This is a very good post. I totally agree with everything you said, and I think that is actually the problem behind most people. And I’ve never seen anyone say this as well as you have. Good job Mr. Wade.
Boy, I wish more people had the mindset that you do! You hit the nail right on the head with this one! People are so caught up in status, titles, money, looks and the list goes on! It’s ridiculous!! Now how many people honestly think that they can find love in the club? I don’t go to the club myself so I know I won’t find it there. People have got to stop looking at the outside person so much and start focusing on their mind and heart! That’s what I feel is more important when you’re considering dating a person. Looks eventually fade unless you decide to get plastic surgery or botox and even then you can still mess yourself up! Anyways, I could go on for days about this topic myself. So I’ll just stop myself right here! I love this blog! Keep doing ya thing! I can’t wait for the next one!!
Love…..love….Love this! This speaks volumes. Definetly deserves a retweet and a thousand likes. Great perception, that’s a blessing. Keep teaching these narrow minded, stereotypical, materialistic, superficial people the true meaning of “realationships”; and how you really relate to other people in life. You could not have stated it better!
If I had learned this a decade earlier maybe today I’d smile more and complain less. Great job! Thanks for spreading the truth!
THIS ISH IS SOOOOO TRUE!!!! IM BROWN SKIN, SIZE 10, NATURAL HAIR, EDUCATED AND BEAUTIFUL. I WORK AS AN HR GENERALIST FOR TARGET CORPORATION, I HAVE NO TATS AND NO KIDS AND I LOVE GOD. YET BECAUSE I’M NOT A LIGHT SKINNED/LONG HAIR MODEL, ALL I WILL EVER BE TO MY GUY FRIENDS IS THEIR ‘BEST FRIEND’ OR BE ‘LIKE A SISTER’ TO THEM BECAUSE THEIR PRIORITIES ARE ALL WRONG!!! THEY CALL ME AT NIGHT TALKING ABOUT HOW BEING WITH BRIGHT SKINNED VANESSA SUCKS BECAUSE SHE’S ALWAYS BEING A BITCH AND IS UNAPPRECIATIVE OF ME”.WELL, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT FROM A GIRL WHO GETS MEN A DIME A DOZEN BECAUSE OF HER LOOKS?! YOU COULD BE REPLACE BY THE WEEKEND! A WOMAN LIKE ME WILL APPERCIATE YOU, LOVE YOU, SUPPORT YOUR DREAMS AND STAND BY YOU DURING THE TOUGHEST TIMES. BUT IT’S SAD THAT MEN WILL NEVER REALIZE IT UNTIL IT’S TOO LATE. I KNOW I’M SPEAKING FOR ALOT OF WOMEN RIGHT NOW.
Great read!
LOVE IT!!
You should be getting paid for this
I agree with this post wholeheartly. I follow you on twitter and you susually have really interesting things to say so I decided to stop by.
Since I have been here in Houston I have realized that many men here are very stuck on light skin long hair thing. I do find that when you focus on things like that you will miss your blessing.Many women to focu on tats and “swag” when in fact that stuff does not even matter.
Keep up the good work!
That is so true…and somewhat sweet!
Well said!
As always, I luv it!! “look over n not up bc ppl r always lookin for sumn on da next level…” I luv luv luv it! Altho my parents actually met at a club 30 sum odd yrs ago n been married for 31 yrs they hav always told me dat club is a place of entertainment n not match makin. It’s not wut u do da night u met da guy/girl but it’s how u foster ur relationship days n wks after meetin them at da club if ur really tryin to take da relationship sumwhere dat is not superficial. Anyways, I guess my next question or perhaps a blog request may b “I know u ur single” for those of us who doesn’t go club hoppin n “looking” for luv in all da wrong places? How bout those ppl who R educated n beautiful/handson who sumtimes get walked all ova? Jus a thought.
I LOVE THIS..ITS SO TRUE!!!!!
Well thought of & written Phil! Good job but this is Houston aka HoustonWood full of the superficial wanna bes..you see a lot of fraudulent activity. I agree with the club scenario, I’ve learned the hard way that is in no way,shape or form where to find a relationship of any type of real substance for anyone over the age of 19 lol. Kudos good read!
read this during class lol, and this information is so refreshing to read! thanks so much for putting this “complex” topic into a clear perspective, i understood and have gone through everything you said and im only 19! i want more than “good looks” and financial stability from a guy…thanks again, be blessed!
can you as well talk about women now persuing men aggressively (this isnt me lol) but ive noticed women lately doing this and your opinion would be nice to hear! thanks
That is spot on!!!!! Good job, very straight to the point, I like it a lot.
The truest words ever written on paper!!! I salute, commend, and congratulate you for speaking against social norms and daring the masses to love entirely and whole-heartily….Good stuff Phill, Good stuff!
*falls out of chair* PREACH IT PHIL!!!!!!!!!!
Now this is the EXACT same thing I try telling some of my friends. And another important note to make, you cannot (i repeat, CANNOT) find true love if you are not truly and happily in love with yourself. It’s impossible. I’m so glad someone can relate to what I’m thinking.
Keep the blogs coming Phil
Say mayne, I’m wit yoo 100!
It might sound bad, but my new wife is NOT the ‘finest’ chick I’ve ever been wit. She’s the most beautiful because I’ve grown to love her inside and THEN out, but she’s not the finest. In college (Clark Atlanta), I messed around wit some of the finest chicks you ever saw. I’m talkin skinny, phat ass, light skin, green eyes, sexy 1/2 Brazilian looking chicks… an NONE of them gave me nothing more than a Nut and a few laughs. Once a MATURED, I started wanting more out of relationships… I wanted substance and realness. Your not gonna find it in the chicks I described above…TRUST ME I TRIED!!! I swear the finer the chick is… the Mo SHIT you gotta put up wit. Whether its her being an empty, ungrateful ass, or a crazy ass boyfriend, or her wannabe-a-model broke ass problems… YOU gotta deal wit it. Its the price you pay…. and IT AINT WORTH IT!!! I met my wife thru mutual friends. I overlooked her at first cause she didnt look like them CA chicks I was used to. And She wasn’t a JET Beauty of the week either. We was still friends though, and blossomed in to what we have today and I have never been happier or felt more fulfilled. She might not look like them CA chicks but we have conversations, support, genuineness and REAL LOVE. I look forward to wakin up next to her each mornin. She has so much to bring into our relationship because she wasn’t a chick that could get off on her looks alone. I swear once you start being around someone, they’re looks start to grown on you. You start lovin that natural hair, or that spare tire around her waist… lol it just happens. And on top of that her pussy feel just as good as them CA Chicks! (Real talk, a real nigga should have the ability to bust inside of ANY chick, I don’t care how dark, light, fat, skinny, ugly, pretty a chick is. A pussy is a pussy and if you having problems… nigga yoo SUSPECT!). Real Love aint hard to find… WE JUST MAKE IT THAT WAY!!!
Phill mayne, keep doin what you do. I like how you said “You’ll find perfection once you stop looking for it…”. That shit is so true!!! I wish I had just known that in my early 20′s. It wouldve saved me from so much bullshit and time lost.
TH
Loves it!
dopeness!
right
OMG!!! After reading you blog, its like you hit every nail on its head. It is pretty sad to see that people are looking for love in all the wrong places. Also, itis imperative for them to realize that love is not about being attracted to someone’s outer appearance, you have to have a deeper conncetion with that person!
Kudos to you my friend!
The article you wrote is very good.
I enjoyed that post. This topic is really very intesting.